HOLIDAYS BRING OUT SO MANY FEELINGS

"I Am Not There, I Am Here"

On this Thanksgiving holiday I am thankful for many things including living and working in Ukraine. I must admit, though, our hearts sometimes ache over being so far from loved ones and family, from our culture and familiarity of it.  I post this from another missionary.  It is encouraging and I hope helps others to understand our being so far. 

I am not there.

          I am here.

The miles are long. Their days are my nights. My days are their nights.

I am not there. I am here.


She looks so beautiful, dressed in white. She walks the aisle, and he meets her at the front. The “I do’s” are said and tears of joy are shed. I do not see it. I only have pictures. I am not there. I am here.


The tree is put up and decorated. The lights glisten and glow. Sipping hot chocolate after a family dinner. Presents exchanged. But I am not there. I am here.

Tears are shed. Flowers fill the chapel. A casket is closed. Hearts are broken. Goodbyes are spoken. Comforting hugs. Reminiscing over happy memories. But I am not there. I am here.

A family hurting. Children crying. Parents aching. And someone leaves. A broken home. Phone calls and emails are all I have. My heart wants to hold them, to cry with them. I want to wipe away the tears. But I am not there. I am here.

Bad news comes. Health is failing. Surgeries. Treatments. Doctor’s appointments. I cannot help. I cannot drive for them or cook a meal or clean. I am not there. I am here.

A beautiful pregnant belly. The gender announced. Before long, the labor starts. The baby’s first cry. Happy parents. But I do not get to hold the baby. I do not hear the cry. I am not there. I am here.

Birthdays come and go. Trials faced. But I am not there…

Sometimes my heart wants to cry out, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first see her wedding. Let me first see the baby born. Let me make sure everyone will be o.k. while I am gone. Let me first… me first…”

              Me first…

I am not the first to think it. I am not the first to feel the pull… the tug.

Luke 9:57-62 “And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.  And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head. And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God. And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Following is not without sacrifice. I don’t want to look back. I want to keep my hand to the plough. I want to plough straight and deep.

My heart wants to cry, “Me first!” So I remind my heart about what belongs first.

Matthew 6:33  “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

If I put Him first, He will supply me need… comfort when I ache inside… comfort when I miss family and friends… comfort when the tears flow.

Why am I here when I am missing out on things there?

 I remember why I am here. I remember Who brought me here.

Romans 10:13-15 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!”

I am not there.

              By God’s grace, I am here.

              So today, I lay “there” on the altar again.

I am here.   (Author unknown, surely a missionary)

WILL TIME "BE NO LONGER" IN HEAVEN? By Jeff Franks

I used to think that in heaven we would be "beyond time" because of the wording of one

verse in the KJV "that there should be time no longer" (Rev 10:6). However, many

years ago I heard a sermon based solely on this phrase, wherein the preacher, having

meditated at length, concluded that the absence of time demanded the absence of

everything linear. Since thoughts are linear, so is all communication, and so is all

movement. His heretical conclusion was that all prayer, all songs, all worship, and all

fellowship will end as our souls will know only joy in perfect unity with the Godhead.

Since I knew many depictions of heaven in the Bible where people praise, worship,

communicate, hold their silence for half an hour, etc., I knew he was wrong. I

discovered that the phrase in Rev 10:6 could legitimately be translated "there will be no

more delay" as in the NKJV, the ISV, the ESV, and many other translations.

Surely one day our eyes will be opened to other dimensions of which we know nothing

now except by faith. But faith, like a true portal to the "great beyond", comes by hearing

and hearing by the Word of God, which shows us not only joy and bliss, but also great

activity in praise, worship, feasting, and servanthood all of which is linear in nature.

When Christ appeared to the disciples in his risen body he spoke and ate with them in

the humblest way, giving us joy and hope that heaven will not mean the loss of time

(blending with godhead), but rather the full enjoyment of it as redeemed souls with real

risen bodies.

God's Great Creation

Just wanted to share some of the beauty of our yard. I am a gardener, artist, wife, mother, not in that particular order and I love to share the garden with my family and friends. So, in summer we try to do some outdoor eating and entertaining. We have always felt like our home was a gift from God and thus we enjoy sharing it with others as we can. Since we've gotten older it has become more to keep up with, but we feel we are here until God tells us where else to be, so we continue to do what we can. Hope you enjoy the sights.

Comments and Following

We always love to hear what you think about any article in particular or anything in general so hit the comment button below each article if there is something you'd like to say. You can also follow this blog in two ways. One is by finding the pictures in the right panel that say Follow Me and doing that. I like that one because it has your picture on there and I can communicate with you from there. The other is to find the Feedblitz gadget also on the right and sign up to get updates by email dellivered right to your inbox as I do them. That is handy and in fact, you can do both. Thanks for reading and following. You are all dear to us.

Our Cupcake Queen

This is a not so uncommon a sight around our home. The interesting thing is how you can take almost anything and turn it into ministry. Leah is planning a party of girlfriends to teach them how to bake cupcakes. Some have asked and so now we have an event coming up. Leah is now pouring over her cupcake cook book to decide what to bake with them. We are grateful to two people who have contributed cupcake pans and cookbook to Leah and they are Betsy Sargent of Virginia Beach, Virginia and Cindy Williams of Conway, Arkansas. Thank you ladies for your love and support.

Traditions

When every young family starts out they usually take some of their childhood traditions into their families, but they also have the option of developing their own unique family traditions. One we made was that of doing a puzzle at Christmas time over the holidays when kids were off from school. As you can see above, this is serious business....one thousand pieces.

Great father/daughter project. I'm just not a puzzle person.

Though I didn't participate in any of this I was given the honor of putting in the last piece. Of course, I was around, making the trail mix and cheering them on with each new victory.

Completed. What a beaut.

Gratitude

Today I am thankful for the life God has given me and my family. It is something, in my wildest dreams, I never would have imagined. Part of that is because, though we went to church some, I was not raised in a Christian family. My salvation came after knowing my husband, Jeff. For that I am ever grateful that God has made me one of his children and for my husband who gently brought me along and relentlessly prayed for me.

Today Jeff leaves for two weeks in Armenia where he will have a Y-10 (Yerevan 10) conference with 10 Armenian pastors from the capitol of Yerevan who want to start 10 new churches. The following week he will conduct a Bible conference with 16 believers and some new prospects from Iran. Jeff teaches them to study the Bible by the inductive method so they are more equipped to go home and study on their own. Please pray for these two events and for Jeff as he leads them.

In the meantime, Leah and I will be here at the house. Though I miss Jeff when he leaves for these periods, it is a time that I will spend in preparing for the start of our Sunday school year in mid-September. These are not usually difficult times as we have become accustomed to this life and I am thanful for it. There is much I could say about how I am thankful, but let it suffice that God is good and we are happy.

Winter in Ukraine

The view of winter from the warmth of our kitchen door in our part of the woods.